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A guide for expats · Frankfurt am Main

The separation year, and why Germany makes you wait

Before you can divorce in Germany you normally have to live apart for a year — the Trennungsjahr. But “apart” does not always mean a second flat, and the year is not time to waste. Here is what the separation year really requires, and how to use it.

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The separation year in four points

It is a year of living apart

Germany does not divorce on demand. As a rule the marriage must be shown to have broken down, and a full year of separation is what proves it (§ 1565, § 1566 BGB).

You can be separated at home

Two homes are not required. You can live apart under one roof (getrennt unter einem Dach) — separate rooms, separate finances, no household run for each other.

The start date matters

The date you separated starts the clock, and you name it in the petition. Fixing it clearly — ideally in writing — avoids a dispute about whether the year is complete.

The year is for preparing

It is not dead time. Custody, maintenance, assets and the pension split can all be worked out during it, so the divorce itself moves quickly once you file.

Why Germany makes you wait a year

German divorce law is not fault-based. Nobody has to prove who did what wrong; the single question is whether the marriage has irretrievably broken down (§ 1565 BGB). And rather than leave that to argument, the law uses time as its evidence: once you have lived apart for a full year and both want the divorce, breakdown is simply presumed (§ 1566 BGB).

That is what the separation year is — not a punishment or a cooling-off imposed by a court, but the proof the law asks for. It is also why, for most couples, there is no faster lawful route. Understanding it that way changes how you use the year: the goal is not to wait it out, but to complete it cleanly while settling everything else.

What “separated” actually means

Separation in the legal sense (Getrenntleben, § 1567 BGB) is the end of the marital community — you no longer live as a couple. Two things must be true: the shared domestic life has stopped, and at least one of you wants it to stay stopped because the marriage is over.

The end of shared domestic life is practical, not romantic. It means separate finances, separate day-to-day lives, and no household run for the other — you cook, wash and shop for yourself, not for your spouse. Staying polite, co-parenting, even sharing a home for the children’s sake does not undo a separation, as long as the couple’s life together has genuinely ended.

You can be separated without moving out

This is the point expats most often get wrong, and it matters because rents in Frankfurt are high and a second home is not always realistic. German law lets you live apart within the same home (getrennt unter einem Dach). The separation year can run while you are still under one roof.

What it takes is a real division of the household, not just a bad atmosphere: separate bedrooms, no shared meals prepared for one another, separate money and separate management of your own laundry and shopping. Shared use of a kitchen or hallway is fine — nobody expects a wall down the middle — but the joint running of a home for each other has to stop. Because this is fact-sensitive, it is worth being able to show clearly when and how the household was divided.

Why the start date is worth pinning down

The separation date does more than start the clock on the year. You state it in the divorce petition, and it also has a bearing on maintenance between spouses. If your spouse later disputes when the separation really began, a divorce can stall while the court works out whether a full year has actually passed.

You do not register the date anywhere, but you can record it. A short letter or message to your spouse confirming that — and from when — you regard the marriage as over, kept with your papers, is usually enough. It is a small step during an emotional time that removes a common, avoidable obstacle later.

Faster than a year — and what if your spouse refuses

Two situations sit outside the ordinary one-year path. Divorce before the year is possible only in cases of serious hardship (§ 1565 (2) BGB), where the other spouse’s conduct makes it unreasonable to wait. This is read narrowly and rarely applies — it is not a shortcut for impatience.

At the other end: if your spouse will not consent, you are not stuck. After three years of separation the law presumes the marriage has broken down and the divorce can proceed without agreement (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Between one and three years a contested divorce is still possible but harder, because breakdown then has to be shown on the facts. In practice, a refusing spouse can delay — not prevent — the divorce.

Use the year — don’t just wait it out

The couples for whom the divorce then goes quickly are the ones who treated the separation year as preparation time. Everything that a divorce touches can be clarified during it:

  • care and contact arrangements for the children, and where they live;
  • separation and, later, post-marital maintenance between the spouses;
  • the family home and household contents, and how outgoings are shared meanwhile;
  • assets and the equalisation of gains, and the pension rights adjustment.

Settle these by agreement during the year and the divorce itself becomes largely a formality — quicker, cheaper and calmer. This is exactly the ground covered on our divorce process and cost and duration pages.

Common questions

Do we have to live in separate flats during the separation year?
No. German law does not require two addresses. What it requires is that you no longer live as a couple — a separation of “bed and board.” You can achieve this under one roof (getrennt unter einem Dach): separate bedrooms, separate finances, and no one running the household for the other — no shared cooking, laundry or shopping done for one another. In practice courts look at whether the domestic community has genuinely ended, not at how many front doors you have. For expats this is the single most useful thing to know: moving out is not a legal precondition for divorce.
When exactly does the separation year start?
It starts on the day the marital community ends — the day one of you makes clear the marriage is over and you begin living apart in the sense above. There is no form to file and no authority to notify; but because that date decides when you may divorce (and affects maintenance), you should record it clearly. A short letter or message confirming the date of separation is often enough, and spares you a later argument about whether a full year has passed.
Can we divorce faster than a year?
Only in narrow circumstances. The law allows divorce before the year is up in cases of genuine, serious hardship (§ 1565 (2) BGB) — tied to the other spouse’s conduct making it unreasonable to wait, not simply a wish to move on quickly. This is applied strictly. For the great majority of couples the honest answer is that the separation year is the fastest lawful route, and the sensible plan is to use it to prepare everything so the divorce follows without delay.
What if my spouse will not agree to the divorce?
You can still divorce. After one year of separation, divorce is straightforward where both want it or the other consents. Where your spouse refuses, the law presumes the marriage has broken down after three years of separation, and a divorce can then proceed without their agreement (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Before that point you can also try to show breakdown on the facts, though that is harder. A refusal delays; it does not trap you in the marriage.
We tried to reconcile for a few weeks — does that reset the clock?
Not for a short attempt. The law deliberately protects couples who try again: brief periods of living together to see whether the marriage can be saved do not interrupt or restart the separation period (§ 1567 (2) BGB). A genuine, lasting reconciliation is different — that would end the separation. But you do not lose the months already counted just because you gave it another try over a holiday or a few weeks.
We are both foreigners living in Germany — does the separation year still apply to us?
If German divorce law governs your case, yes — the separation year applies regardless of your nationalities. And for couples living in Germany, German law usually does govern the divorce, because the applicable law follows where you live, not the passport you hold (Rome III). The separation year is one of the points where expats are caught out, assuming their home country’s quicker or fault-based rules apply. Which law governs your divorce is worth confirming early; it is the first thing we check.

Knowing the rule is one thing; running the separation year and the divorce well is another. If you are looking for an English-speaking divorce lawyer in Frankfurt, that is what this office does — for expats, binational couples and cross-border cases. You may also want our page on international family law.

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Start the year on the right footing

A confidential initial consultation — when your separation began, what to settle during the year, and the sensible next step. We reply personally, usually within one business day.

Sources

  1. Governing statutes (Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch, BGB): § 1565 (breakdown of the marriage and hardship), § 1566 (presumption of breakdown after one / three years), § 1567 (living apart, including short reconciliation attempts) — gesetze-im-internet.de.
  2. Council Regulation (EU) No 1259/2010 (Rome III), on the law applicable to divorce and legal separation — eur-lex.europa.eu.