Contested
divorce
Contested divorce:the dispute is about the consequences
Mieke Karcher, attorney at law · as of July 2026
“Contested divorce” sounds like a fight over whether the marriage ends at all. In practice that is rarely the case. Usually the end has long been settled, and the dispute is about what comes after it: maintenance, children, assets, pensions.
That distinction is more than a nicety, because it determines what matters in the proceedings. Pronouncing the divorce itself is usually unproblematic. Length, costs and nerves arise with the ancillary matters, which on application the court decides together with the divorce in joint proceedings (§ 137 FamFG). Anyone going through a contested divorce is therefore almost always arguing about the consequences, not about whether.
The
blockade
Can my spouse prevent the divorce?
Not in the long run. After three years of separation the marriage is irrebuttably deemed to have broken down, without any consent from the other side (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Until then a divorce can be delayed, but hardly held up for good.
It can also happen sooner: anyone who wants to be divorced without consent once the year of separation has run must set out and prove to the court that the marriage has broken down (§ 1565 (1) BGB). That is possible, but more laborious than the route with consent, and one of the reasons why initial blockades often turn into uncontested proceedings after all.
The question
of fault
Does it matter who is to blame?
No. German law has known no fault-based divorce since 1977. What counts is solely whether the marriage has broken down (the breakdown principle, § 1565 BGB). Who left the marriage, who met someone else or who behaved in which way changes nothing about the entitlement to a divorce.
For many that is hard to accept at first, because it runs against their sense of justice. In law, conduct continues to have an effect only in very narrow places: for instance where gross misconduct forfeits a maintenance claim (§ 1579 BGB). For the divorce itself it has no significance.
The hardship
clause
Can the court refuse the divorce even so?
In rare exceptions yes, through the hardship clause (§ 1568 BGB). The court can decline for the time being to dissolve a marriage that has in fact broken down, to protect shared minor children or in the case of exceptional hardship for the other spouse.
The courts read that clause narrowly. It can apply where the divorce would plunge someone into an unbearable situation, and even then it usually only postpones the end rather than preventing it.
The actual
field of dispute
What is actually fought over
The ancillary matters are the real field: maintenance, custody and contact, the division of assets and pension entitlements, household goods and the matrimonial home. Each of these points can become a matter in dispute in itself, and on application the court decides them together with the divorce in joint proceedings (§ 137 FamFG).
Two attorneys instead of one
As soon as motions of one's own are in play, mere consent from one side is no longer enough.
The value of the proceedings rises
With the dispute rises the value on which all fees hang.
It takes longer
More hearings, with questions about children often an expert report on the child's welfare, at times a guardian ad litem for the child.
Months can turn into years that way, while uncontested proceedings are as a rule concluded after four to six months.
No recommendation to avoid every dispute follows from that. What follows is an order of work: what can be settled out of court should not have to be decided by the court. What cannot be settled belongs before the judge, properly prepared.
How we
support you
A settlement is not a value in itself
The focus of this firm lies deliberately on solutions by agreement. That has an equally clear limit: if the other side blocks, or if a settlement would evidently be at one side's expense, we represent you firmly in court. A settlement is not a value in itself if it would only come about because one side gives way.
In concrete
terms
First sort it out, then argue
The work begins with sorting: we examine early on what is actually in dispute and what only looks like it. Often the list shrinks considerably in the process, and the rest can be conducted with more focus. The remaining ancillary matters, that is, maintenance, assets and pension provision, we bundle in the joint proceedings and prepare in full.
On questions about children we represent your position towards expert reports and the guardian ad litem as well. What can be settled we settle before the court has to decide it; for the rest we frame the motions so that they hold up in court, and we represent you at every hearing until the decision.
The first conversation takes place at Frankenallee in Frankfurt-Gallus or by video, in German, English or Spanish as you prefer. We reply to written enquiries usually within one working day.
How the proceedings
run
From the petition to the order
At the start stand the petition and its service, with or without the other side's consent, after the year of separation (§ 1565 BGB) or at the latest after three years (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Then the ancillary matters are named: what is in dispute goes into the joint proceedings (§ 137 FamFG).
There follows the most laborious phase, in which disclosures are obtained and valuations produced and, on questions about children, an expert report is often added; it frequently takes months. At the hearing it is settled what can be settled, and the rest is argued out. At the end the court decides on the divorce and the ancillary matters together by order.
That is the usual course; an individual case may differ (as of 2026).
Frequent
questions
What we are asked most often about this
What happens if we do reach agreement during the proceedings?
That is the normal case and possible at any time. An ancillary matter on which agreement emerges can be settled by consent or taken out of the joint proceedings; the case becomes shorter and cheaper as a result. It is therefore worth staying in conversation even during contested proceedings.
Who bears the costs in the end?
In the matrimonial matter itself the court regularly sets the costs off against each other, so that each side bears half the court costs and their own attorney (§ 150 FamFG). With contested ancillary matters the court can depart from that and allocate the costs according to the outcome.
What is a guardian ad litem?
In children's matters the court can give the child its own representative, who looks solely after the child's interests, independently of both parents. That is not a sign that anyone is being accused of anything; it follows from the fact that the child is not itself a party to the parents' dispute.
What comes
next
Read on where your question currently stands
Uncontested divorce
If it becomes apparent that the fronts are softening: what can be settled there, and in which form.
ViewDurationHow long does a divorce take?
How long proceedings realistically take and what speeds them up.
ReadHearingThe divorce hearing: how it runs in court
What actually happens in the courtroom.
ReadChildrenCustody & contact rights
Where the core of it is about the children.
ViewSources
The provisions mentioned in the text in their official wording at “Gesetze im Internet”, the portal of the German Federal Ministry of Justice.
Contact
You do not have to take the first step alone
Tell us about your situation. We reply personally, usually within one working day.