Skip to content

Contested DivorceThe fight is about
the consequences.

“Contested” does not necessarily mean war over whether to divorce. Usually the end of the marriage is settled – the fight is about the consequences: maintenance, children, assets, pensions. Genuine resistance is the exception, and it rarely lasts long.

Request an initial consultation File your online divorce
  • Representation in the Verbund
  • Ancillary matters properly prepared
  • Frankfurt-Gallus

Mieke Karcher, Attorney · Last reviewed July 2026

Where the dispute really lies

Not about whether. About the consequences.

The end of the marriage is usually settled – the divorce decree is rarely the problem. The fight is over the Folgesachen (ancillary matters), which on application the court decides together with the divorce in the Verbund (combined proceedings, § 137 FamFG).

Whether

The divorce itself

Usually settled. Genuine resistance is the exception – and rarely lasts long.

Irrebuttable after 3 years. Failed without consent · § 1566 (2) BGB

The consequences

The ancillary matters

This is where the real fighting happens – each point can become its own dispute.

  • Maintenance
  • Custody
  • Contact
  • Assets (accrued gains)
  • Pension sharing
  • Household goods
  • Marital home

This is where length, cost and stress arise. Not at the divorce decree.

The small question is decided, the big one open. Whatever can be settled out of court should not have to be decided by the court – what cannot belongs properly prepared before the judge.

The fight is rarely about whether – almost always about the consequences.

“Contested” does not mean that someone wants to stop the divorce at any price. It usually means: the two of you do not (yet) agree on the consequences.

  • It means: the end is usually settled; the dispute concerns maintenance, children, assets and pensions.
  • It does not mean: that “contested” means war over the divorce itself.

Blocking

Can my spouse prevent the divorce?

Not in the long run.

After three years of separation the marriage is irrebuttably deemed to have failed – entirely without the other spouse’s consent (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Until then a divorce can be delayed, but hardly blocked permanently.

Possible already after the Trennungsjahr (year of separation). Anyone who wants to be divorced without the other’s consent must prove the breakdown of the marriage to the court (§ 1565 (1) BGB) – possible, but more laborious than with consent.

Fault

Does it matter who is at fault?

No. Since 1977 German law no longer recognises fault-based divorce.

Whoever left, betrayed or destroyed the marriage changes nothing about the right to divorce (Zerrüttungsprinzip, breakdown principle, § 1565 BGB). Fault has no influence on whether and when the divorce happens.

Conduct lives on only in narrow places. For instance where gross misconduct forfeits a maintenance claim (§ 1579 BGB) – but not for the divorce itself.

Exception

Can the court refuse the divorce anyway?

In rare exceptions yes – through the Härteklausel (hardship clause, § 1568 BGB).

The court may, for the time being, decline to dissolve a marriage that has in fact failed – to protect shared minor children or in cases of exceptional hardship for the other spouse.

The courts construe it narrowly. It can bite where the divorce would plunge someone into an unbearable situation – and even then it usually only postpones the end, rather than stopping it.

Ancillary matters

What is the real dispute about?

About the ancillary matters – not about the divorce decree.

Maintenance, custody and contact, the division of assets and pensions, household goods and the marital home – each of these points can become its own bone of contention.

In the Verbund the court decides them together. On application the ancillary matters run with the divorce in combined proceedings (Verbund, § 137 FamFG) – this is exactly where length, cost and stress arise.

In practice

What does that mean in practice?

Two lawyers instead of one – and longer, costlier proceedings.

As soon as your own applications are in play, each spouse needs their own representation; the mere consent of one no longer suffices. With the dispute the value of the proceedings rises, and with it the fees. More hearings, often an expert opinion on the child’s welfare, sometimes a Verfahrensbeistand (guardian ad litem) for the child – months can become years.

Conflict costs – in money and in time. Whatever can be settled out of court should not have to be decided by the court; what cannot be settled belongs properly prepared before the judge.

Services

How we support you

From the first conflict check to the decision in the Verbund – clear, complete, at your side.

What is really in dispute?

We check early what is genuinely in dispute and what only looks that way – it saves time and stress.

Ancillary matters in the Verbund

We conduct and bundle maintenance, assets and pensions in the combined proceedings (Verbund) – cleanly and in full.

Custody & contact

On questions concerning children we represent your position – including against expert opinions and the guardian ad litem.

Applications & pleadings

We draft your own applications and prepare the proceedings so they hold up in court.

Out-of-court settlement

Whatever can be settled, we clarify – before the court has to decide it.

Representation at the hearing

We represent you at every hearing, through to the decision – firmly at your side.

We check early what is really in dispute – and what only looks that way. That shortens the road.

Step by step

How a contested case unfolds

Five stages – the divorce is settled early, the ancillary matters carry the dispute.

  1. 1

    Petition & service

    With or without consent – after the year of separation (§ 1565), at the latest after three years (§ 1566).

    Year of separation onward
  2. 2

    Name the ancillary matters

    Maintenance, children, assets, pensions – whatever is in dispute goes into the Verbund.

    § 137 FamFG
  3. 3

    Disclosure & expert opinions

    Obtain valuations, and on questions concerning children often an expert opinion and a guardian ad litem.

    often months
  4. 4

    Hearing & settlement

    Whatever can be settled, we clarify – the rest is litigated.

    Settlement possible
  5. 5

    Decree

    The court decides the divorce and ancillary matters – together in the Verbund.

    Decree

Standard sequence – may differ in individual cases, as of 2026.

Frequently asked questions

Good to know

Can my spouse block the divorce permanently?

Not in the long run. After three years of separation the marriage is irrebuttably deemed to have failed – entirely without the other spouse’s consent (§ 1566 (2) BGB). Until then a divorce can be delayed, but hardly blocked permanently. Anyone who wants to be divorced without consent already after the year of separation must prove the breakdown of the marriage to the court (§ 1565 (1) BGB).

Does it matter who is at fault?

No. Since 1977 German law no longer recognises fault-based divorce (breakdown principle / Zerrüttungsprinzip, § 1565 BGB) – whoever left, betrayed or destroyed the marriage changes nothing about the right to divorce. Conduct retains an effect only in narrow places, for instance where gross misconduct forfeits a maintenance claim (§ 1579 BGB).

In a contested case, do we need two lawyers?

Yes. As soon as your own applications are in play – on maintenance, custody or assets, for example – each spouse needs their own representation; the mere consent of one no longer suffices. With the dispute the value of the proceedings also rises, and with it the fees.

How long does a contested divorce take?

Considerably longer than an amicable one. On application, the ancillary matters (Folgesachen) are decided together with the divorce in combined proceedings (Verbund, § 137 FamFG); that is where the length, cost and stress arise. More hearings, often an expert opinion on the child’s welfare, sometimes a guardian ad litem (Verfahrensbeistand) for the child – months can become years.

Sources

Legal basis

The provisions mentioned in the text, in their official wording on the “Gesetze im Internet” portal of the Federal Ministry of Justice.

§ 1565 BGB § 1566 BGB § 1568 BGB § 1579 BGB § 137 FamFG

Contact

You don’t have to take the first step alone

Choose whichever way feels right for you – we reply personally, usually within one business day.