Separated for years, never divorced: what keeps running

What applies if you live apart but are not divorced?

The marriage continues with almost all of its consequences until the divorce is final. Separation ends only a few of them. From the year after the separation, you are assessed for tax individually § 26 (1) EStG, and everyday transactions no longer bind the other spouse § 1357 (3) BGB.

Everything else keeps running: the equalization of gains, the pension adjustment, inheritance rights, the widow’s or widower’s pension. The sections below show what that means and where you can step in. What applies as soon as you separate is described in Separation before the divorce: what applies at once.

The equalization keeps growing until the divorce petition

For the Zugewinnausgleich (equalization of accrued gains), what counts are the assets on the day the Scheidungsantrag (divorce petition) is served § 1384 BGB. Whatever one of you saved, bought or paid off after the separation therefore belongs to the final assets. That includes the apartment one of you bought after moving out.

A long separation alone does not change this. It does not entitle anyone to refuse the equalization on grounds of gross unfairness; further reasons have to be added BGH, judgment of October 9, 2013, XII ZR 125/12. Inheritances and gifts do count toward the initial assets § 1374 (2) BGB. Their increase in value since the inheritance, however, is part of the gain.

How to close the equalization early

After three years of separation, either of you can demand that the Zugewinngemeinschaft (community of accrued gains) ends early §§ 1385 no. 1, 1386 BGB. The calculation then runs until the day the application is filed § 1387 BGB. Once the decision is final, the Gütertrennung (separation of property) applies § 1388 BGB.

This is worthwhile above all for the spouse whose assets have been growing since the separation. An agreement is simpler. You can also agree on Gütertrennung (separation of property) before a notary during the separation §§ 1408, 1410 BGB, with or without an equalization up to that day. What is possible after the wedding is covered in Marital agreement after the wedding: what is still possible.

The pension adjustment counts the years of separation

The Versorgungsausgleich (pension rights adjustment) covers all rights from the month of the wedding to the end of the month before the petition is served § 3 (1) VersAusglG. The years of separation are included. Each of you gives up half of the rights acquired in that period, and whoever earned more gives up more.

According to case law, a very long separation can justify leaving out the period of separation in whole or in part § 27 VersAusglG. That applies above all where each of you lived financially independently. The courts usually do not leave out periods in which one of you looked after your children. There is nothing automatic about it, and you have to raise it yourself. An agreement is safer; see When the pension rights adjustment falls away.

Your spouse still inherits

Until the divorce, your spouse remains your statutory heir § 1931 BGB. Under the statutory property regime, they take half alongside children § 1371 (1) BGB. A will can disinherit them, but they keep their compulsory share § 2303 (2) BGB.

The right to inherit only ends if the requirements for divorce were met and the deceased had filed for divorce or consented to it § 1933 BGB. Without a petition, it remains even after twenty years of separation. Your spouse can waive inheritance and the compulsory share in a notarized contract §§ 2346, 2348 BGB. What else keeps running, such as powers of attorney and beneficiary designations, is covered in Inheritance law during separation: the riskiest period.

Widow’s pension and health insurance

If your spouse dies, you are usually entitled to the widow’s or widower’s pension from the statutory pension insurance, even after a long separation § 46 SGB VI. After a divorce, it no longer applies. A new partner of the deceased does not receive it without a marriage.

If one of you has statutory health insurance and the other has no or only a low income, the other can remain covered free of charge through family insurance § 10 SGB V. For some couples, that is a reason to stay married. In that case, the other consequences should be settled. What changes in health insurance on divorce is covered in Property, maintenance, home: the deadlines after a divorce.

A new partner, a new child

A new marriage is only possible after the divorce § 1306 BGB. If the wife has a child during the marriage, her husband is legally the father, even after years of separation § 1592 no. 1 BGB. Since April 1, 2026, the biological father can nonetheless acknowledge paternity if the husband consents § 1595a BGB. As with any acknowledgment, the mother has to consent as well § 1595 (1) BGB. Pending divorce proceedings are no longer required for this. If the husband does not consent, the only route left is to challenge paternity.

If the spouse entitled to maintenance has been living with a new partner for a long time, separation maintenance can fall away § 1361 (3), § 1579 no. 2 BGB. How separation maintenance is otherwise calculated is explained in Separation maintenance: who gets how much, and from when?

What you can do now

You have three options. The first is the divorce. After three years of separation, it no longer requires consent § 1566 (2) BGB; see Consent to the divorce: giving, refusing, withdrawing it.

The second is a notarized agreement that lets you stay married and still settle everything: Gütertrennung (separation of property), the pension adjustment, maintenance, and a waiver of inheritance and the compulsory share. The third is the early equalization of gains if you cannot reach an agreement. Regardless of which you choose, review your will, your powers of attorney and the beneficiary designations in your insurance policies.

The next step

Bring the date of your separation and, if available, your pension record and an overview of your assets today and at the time of the separation. From these, we can see what a later petition would cost and which route fits. What an agreement can cover is described on our page on the divorce settlement agreement.

The first consultation costs up to €190 plus VAT, at most €226.10 in total. If we take on your case, this fee does not apply. How assets are divided on divorce is described on our page on the division of assets.