Online divorce with children: what changes and what does not

Can you get an online divorce if you have children?

Yes, an online divorce works with children as well. Online means that instructing us, sending documents and answering questions all happen digitally. Before the Familiengericht (family court), the proceedings are the same, with or without children.

You both attend the divorce hearing in person, as in any divorce. What runs online and what does not is described in Online divorce or in person? Where children change the process is shown in the sections below.

What the petition has to say about your children

The Scheidungsantrag (divorce petition) names your children under 18 and where they habitually live § 133 (1) no. 1 FamFG. It also states whether you have reached an understanding on parental responsibility, contact and child support § 133 (1) no. 2 FamFG. What exactly you agreed does not go into it.

Our divorce form asks five things about each child: name, date of birth, place of birth, where and with whom the child lives, and how contact is arranged. Include the birth certificates with the petition § 133 (2) FamFG. Scan them together with your marriage certificate. Which other details the court needs is covered in The divorce petition: what information the court needs.

Joint parental responsibility continues

After the divorce, joint parental responsibility simply continues, without either of you having to apply for anything. The court only decides on parental responsibility and contact within the divorce proceedings if one of you applies for it § 137 (3) FamFG.

In everyday matters, the parent the child lives with decides alone, for instance on bedtimes or how afternoons are spent. Matters of significant importance you continue to decide together § 1687 (1) BGB. These include choosing a school, an operation or a move far away. If you need documents for a trip abroad, see Traveling with children: which travel documents do I need?

What the youth welfare office does

The court informs the Jugendamt (youth welfare office) that divorce proceedings involving children under 18 are pending § 17 (3) SGB VIII. You will then receive a letter offering counseling. It does not inspect your home and does not visit.

You do not have to accept the offer. It is still worth it if you have not yet found a solution for vacations, holidays or the handovers between your homes. Counseling costs you nothing.

What the court asks about the children at the hearing

At the hearing, the court also hears you both on parental responsibility and contact and points you to counseling services § 128 (2) FamFG. It is usually a few questions: where the children live, how often they see the other parent and whether that works.

Your children do not come along. The court only hears children in separate proceedings on parental responsibility or contact. Arrange childcare for the morning and allow for some waiting time outside the courtroom. How the hearing otherwise runs is explained in The divorce hearing: how it runs in court.

When children make it take longer

It takes longer if one of you applies for a decision on parental responsibility or contact. The court then involves the youth welfare office, hears the children and can appoint a guardian ad litem for them § 158 FamFG. At every stage of the proceedings, it works toward an agreement § 156 (1) FamFG.

Your divorce does not have to wait for those proceedings. The court can separate the proceedings on the children if it considers this appropriate for the child’s welfare § 140 (2) no. 3 FamFG. If you disagree about the children, a meeting in person at our office is often the better route. It is then about more than documents, and that is easier to clarify across a table.

What you should settle between yourselves beforehand

A parenting agreement that you put in writing before the petition helps most. No particular form is prescribed for it. Write down where the children live, when they are with the other parent, how you share vacations and holidays and who pays which costs.

Even without an agreement, the parent the children do not live with owes child support. No one can waive future child support § 1614 (1) BGB. How the amount is worked out is shown in Child support: how to read the Düsseldorf table. If the children spend roughly equal time with each of you, child support is calculated differently; see Shared care in Frankfurt: when it fits.

The next step

In our divorce form, you gather the details about yourselves, your marriage and your children, at your own pace and with breaks. Whatever is missing we clarify by video or phone. Our page on the online divorce describes the overall framework.

The first consultation costs up to €190 plus VAT, at most €226.10 in total. If we take on your case, this fee does not apply. How the further fees are calculated is explained on our page on costs.